Later, the next guy came in with 10 grapes. The psychologist concluded that the soldier was deranged, and wrote out his discharge from the army. Now click on this button or on contents list below Click on links Latest Contents List: These days interior décor is so much more than and carpets and wall hangings. Holmes is silent for a moment. For the Monty Python sketch about jokes as military weapons, see. Texan: Okay where are you from, jackass? Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.
This kind of humor turns to be the funniest jokes again, and so much so that you feel you must share them with the world or your kids at least. Decisions like and oak furniture define a theme for your house. The philosopher kept a little ahead and replied I am not trying to outrun the lion, I am trying to outrun you! The turtle looked at the detective with a confused look on his face and replied I don't know, it all happened so fast. Someone has stolen our tent! Top Joke in England Two guys are sitting on a bar stool. Top joke in Australia This woman rushed to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out. First, let's make sure he's dead.
The doctor replies, You only have 24 hours to live. Top joke in Belgium Why do ducks have webbed feet? Give a fine print as a gift that could hang around for a hundred years or more. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. Thinking quickly, the other guy grabs his cell phone and calls for help. Fry-Day And, saved till last, my own favourite. After to the 9th grape, the man started laughing so hard for no apperant reason, and was killed.
Also Rans Texan: Where are you from? Bored Panda scoured the Internet for the most excellent and came up with this list. Oh dear, what's the bad news? The scientist made some quick calculations, he said it's no good trying to outrun it, its catching up. The other says, Go home dad youre drunk. His friend says: Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. The cheif soon ordered him to do the same as the first guy. Not screaming in terror like his passengers. For his experiment, named LaughLab, he created a website where people could rate and submit jokes.
He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: Just take it easy. He's not breathing so his friend calls 911.
You only needed one more grape and you'd have gotten away! To stamp out burning ducks Top joke in Germany A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. The soldier picked it up, smiled and said: That's it. From to the patio and , all comes under décor. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. Well, Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
Top Joke in Scotland I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. She says to a man next to her: The driver just insulted me! The psychologist concluded that the soldier was deranged, and wrote out his discharge from the army. Which day of the week do fish hate? When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my hair all wiry and frazzled up, my skin was all wrinkled and pasty, my eyes were bloodshot and bugging out, and I had this corpse-like look on my face! The doctor looks her over for a couple of minutes, then calmly says: Well, I can tell you that there ain't nothing wrong with your eyesight. When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my hair all wiry and frazzled up, my skin was all wrinkled and pasty, my eyes were bloodshot and bugging out, and I had this corpse-like look on my face! The man says: You go right up there and tell him off go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. The cheif then ordered him to stick all ten of them up his butt without making any expression at all on his face. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep.
Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see. Which one is the most cringe-worthy? Why do elephants have flat feet? Top Joke in Northern Ireland A doctor says to his patient, I have bad news and worse news. Not screaming in terror like his passengers. . And what do you deduce from that? All of us start our lives as little kids, sometime later we grow up, then grow old and turn to be childish again. What does it tell you, Holmes? Germany: A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes replies Watson.
There is a silence, then a shot is heard. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they pitch their tent and go to sleep. What do you call a monkey in a minefield? The Russians, on the other hand, used a pencil. But what does it tell you, Holmes? The guy's voice comes back on the line. The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. He wasn't breathing, and his eyes looked glazed.